


On Loneliness

by tearsxonxeyelashes



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV), Sansa - Fandom, theonsa - Fandom
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Reflection, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 12:56:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18571933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tearsxonxeyelashes/pseuds/tearsxonxeyelashes
Summary: Sansa and Theon reflect on their pasts, on romance that was promised yet never received, and on forbidden crushes that were never acted upon.





	On Loneliness

She had gotten used to being alone.

This was her path, the destiny that the Old Gods and the New had paved for her.

She has never known a loving caress, has never felt like something other than a prize to be won by hungry men, eager for the shiniest of trophies in all the seven kingdoms, and she had made her peace with that. Her life was not to be one of daisy chains and knights on white horses. She wanted to be a petal, yet she had grown into a thorn.

Her life was taken out of her hands, yet now, in the cold castle of Winterfell, she was home, and home was being alone.

Here she felt safest, without having to share her bed with another. She was still in her teenage years, yet carried herself with more command than many a princess before her.

She won over the bannermen.

She escaped Joffrey.

She escaped Ramsey.

Even the most hardened king would not overcome that. 

She had fought her own wars.

Claimed her own victories.

And she had done it all without an army.

She did it all by herself.

That was how she was going to live her life, rule her kingdom, with the love and strength that was never shown to her.

***

When they were children, his room was down the hall from hers and at night, while trying to stay warm in that stone castle he would fantasise of Ned Stark, knocking on his door, telling him of his betrothal to Sansa, the most beautiful girl in all the seven kingdoms. It was a fantasy and from a young age he learnt that it would not come true.

As a child he would hover by Ned Stark’s side, in the hope that one day, maybe he would be accepted into the stark family, truely treated as one of their own. Yet it was while he was hovering by Ned’s side, he wouldn’t have been any older than eleven or twelve at the time, that he first heard of the betrothal of Sansa Stark, to Joffrey Baratheon, heir to the Iron throne.

The Iron throne.

He, a captive from the Iron Islands could never even dream to compete with that. And so he watched from a far as the courtship began. He saw how her eyes would light up around the fair haired prince, how she would tuck her hair behind her ear and look up at him through her eyelashes, never directly, the perfect picture of feminine submission.

And so he busied himself with other redheads from town, imagining that the were her. They lacked her beauty, her aloof yet regal nature.

She began to change her hair, elaborately braided like Southern women, and he would listen as everyone would compliment her on her beauty, and on the new changes. Yet to him, she was most beautiful when wearing her hair wild, like any Northern woman would, flaming hair like hers should not be tamed.

He watched as she left Winterfell for Kings Landing. From the highest point in Winterfell he watched her, and her flaming hair as the party trudged towards towards Kings Landing. 

With a cask of ale by his side and the sun setting on the travelling party, he realised the castle felt colder than it ever had before.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be posting little drabbles like this about Theon and Sansa, maybe Gendry and Arya as well. If you did enjoy this please let me know.


End file.
